Have you ever experienced “Chunks In The Night”? No, this isn’t a Broadway musical. This is when you hear your 3 year old hurling in his bed at 4 a.m. Last night the Smith household experienced this phenomenon in full effect.
We had had a full weekend with the holiday and things. Lots of friend time, play time, and food. We were all sleeping soundly for several hours when we heard that awful noise that I haven’t heard since my dorm-mates got back from their parties in college. Chunks In The Night. Of course, at least my inebriated loser friends made it to the toilet to let go of a stomach full of poor judgment. My son? Nah, the mattress will do just fine Dad. When we walked into the room it was obvious what we were up against. Poor guy was sitting up clutching a monkey in one hand and a “doggy” in the other. All 3 of them soaked in partially digested Memorial Day fare.
If you are a parent you know the moment I had last night. You know, where you’re crouched down in the laundry room floor while your spouse bathes the little rascal. (meanwhile he/she feels much better and wants to play in the bathtub………..at 4:15 a.m.) But there you are picking the chunks of hot dog out of the sheets/stuffed animal fur thinking about just throwing it all away in a giant garbage bag. I got it all out and washed it on the hottest cycle. Then I went upstairs to change his sheets and make sure there were no chunks anywhere else. About the time I had it all clear his mom brought him upstairs. We prayed with him and laughed a little. All was well again and we were heading back to sleep as a family.
It had only taken 45 minutes. Not bad. 15 minutes later he hurled again. This time less chunks, but still enough to repeat the whole process again. You know, a little bit of puke is like being a little bit pregnant. No such thing as using “wipes” when you’re talking about kids spewing.
All the while I kept thinking about my parents doing the same thing for me. You do it because you love them. Who knows, someday I’ll probably look back and wish I had one more middle of the night with them at this age picking out chunks and gathering memories. Love each other. . . . . . . . . . . and remember.Hunter
Howdy folks!! I just got back from my first music boat cruise. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about this is a new thing out there in American Christendom. People make their vacation plans for the year for a cruise with a bunch of Christian artists.
Some of the ones on our boat included Casting Crowns, Leland, Toby Mac, Rush Of Fools, Hawk Nelson, Joy Williams, Matthew West, Newsong, and a few others. It was fun. We had 3 opportunities to play and they all went well. I’m sure Chris will post some pictures when he gets back. My wife wasn’t able to go because they cut off the age for children at 4 months and Samuel is 2 months old. Of course, 4 months/2 months/6 months………well, it’s all bedlam so I don’t know where they got that number. At any rate, I was a third wheel with Chris and Jenna (his wife) for 3 days and left early from Mexico after we had fulfilled our playing schedule. It was fun hanging with them and all, but at some point it’s time to let them be a married couple on a cruise and excuse myself. Cruising solo is no fun because all you do is eat to ease the boredom. Every one feels sorry for you too. Between these two you come home fat and feeling sorry for yourself. It was time to come home. My wife is glad I’m home too.
By the way, the minivan is running like a top and getting cooler with each coming day. I’m looking for some “high water” khaki pants and a good pair of redeemed lawn mowing shoes laced up too tight to round out the persona. Blessings to you all!
Competition is wicked foolishness to God. Jesus did not uphold, possess, or esteem the virtue of competition. It is only a positive virtue in the eyes of this ridiculous world. However, when we aregiving credit to someone who has accomplished much we will mention their competitiveness as a mark of their greatness.
The competitive athlete. The competitive small business owner. The competitive politician. The competitive band. etc, etc. Competitiveness is rooted in primal insecurity within the souls of people. This insecurity is as old as the fall of man. It is one man’s need to prove himself better than another. Jesus taught the opposite. In fact, he taught us to especially love and serve those who were opposed to us! NEVER were we to prove ourselves superior to others. I have experienced the ill effects of competition in my own life. I’ve competed with others and won, but actually lost in the long run. I’ve also lost many competitions and been hurt in the process. One way or another I have hurt and been hurt because of competition. This is because it is not of God.
Now, I know this sounds crazy. How could I do what I do for a living and not compete? Up until a couple of months ago I would have said it was impossible. However, in March I was going through an extreme time of concern……..ok, WORRY about my life. I know I shouldn’t worry but sometimes it gets the best of me. During a particular bout with worry concerning my job I heard God speak to me. He said “I’VE NOT CALLED YOU TO COMPETITION, BUT I HAVE CALLED YOU TO BATTLE.” He began to show me how competition is the folly of this world. Then, he started to help me understand what it means to battle. We can successfully exist in this world and do our jobs. Even WIN at our jobs, but win with pure hearts and pure motives so that God alone is glorified. NOT us. I have much more to say about this that, I believe, would qualify it even more. However, I want to hear your thoughts on this. How do we function in a world bound in competition without engaging by it’s pathetic rules and standards?
I’m all for creativity. Sometimes to my own detriment. (if that’s possible) If someone told me they were going to write a song and create a word within it I would probably say “cool idea” then walk away thinking “good luck with that”. Although country music does this all the time with slang and variations of improper English, (which I love and embrace by the way) there aren’t many times when a word can be created out of thin air and given a vague meaning, then used as the title of an entire song, then be the title of a song that actually makes an album! We as Connersvine have done this and actually lived to not regret it.
A few years ago I came to Chris with a song called Hungerlove. It was not the Hungerlove you can listen to here or on the album. It was something I wrote alone in a whimsical moment of inspiration. Well, Chris liked the song but it always tended to go away when we startedtalking about album songs. A lot of times as a songwriter you have to write songs in order to finish others. By that I mean that many songs will never be used in themselves, but the idea/inspiration or pieces of the lyric or melody will be used on another idea in the future. Such was the case with Hungerlove.
One day we were in the studio with one of the co-producers of our album, Pete Kipley. We took a break and decided to write a song together. Chris started playing this “vibey” guitar rhythm and singing a really cool melody over the top of it. As lyrical ideas started to come I realized that many of the ideas I was having already existed in the old Hungerlove. When this happens you usually have to succumb and lay that old song on the altar. I layed it down allowing it’s meat to be separated from it’s bones and out of the picking came the new Hungerlove. Chris shows his melodic genius in this song. To me, somehow, this song consists melodically of very soulful verses, a passionate “hit you in the face” rock chorus, and a driving euro-rock bridge.
Lyrically it is a love song. It was written from the standpoint of a God longing for fallen creation to return to His love. The wonderful thing about this love, I believe, is partially summarized in this portion of the first verse.
“Though I see you’re running from me
the more you run the more you’re near.
Cuz I was there in the beginning
and I will be there in the end
with a heart that’s beating for you
and a love that wants to mend”
Contrary to how the world views love and relationship, God sees those seemingly farthest away from Him as those who are actually closest. He is the King of an upside down kingdom. Remember the rich are poor/weak are strong, etc. This worldly foolishness/wisdom of God comes through in the second verse as well.
“Welcome to the days of danger, risk, and security
where love will change your nature
if you will just believe.”
Danger and risk only can be coupled with security when God is involved. That is the whole idea of the song. To leave your life and your other loves and taste of the one true love and life that He gives. The risk is also self contained in the title of the song. What is hungerlove? To be honest it is hard to define. OK, impossible, but I’ll try. It is not a love you give. It is only a love you can receive. Don’t worry this is not heresy. The term hungerlove is my own guttural emotional recognition of the love I’ve received from God. With our limited and poor English language we do not draw the same discrepancies between loves that ancient languages do. We l-o-v-e cookies and our spouses/children/pets. This is Connersvine’s attempt to create a wordout of English that captures the voracious, passionate, appropriately jealous love that the God of the universe extends to every soul under the sky. His is a Hungerlove.
OK, I know this might be a lame post. However, today my wife made up a recipe for cookies, and they were UNBELIEVABLE. She made oatmeal/peanut butter/butterscotch cookies and I’ve had 4 already.(it’s only 6:12 p.m.) I’ll probably hit 10.
Eating these cookies has renewed my love for cookies in general. (such a healthy love to rediscover) At any rate, I need to know some new cookie ideas. What is your favorite cookie? Is the recipe easy? Obviously there are the standards (chocolate chip, peanut butter, etc), but what I’m talking about are the cookies maybe you or someone you love made up or had passed on to them that are really good secrets.
Please think hard and let me know. This is world changing stuff! By the way, I’m working toward getting the next song commentary posted soon. Time has been scarce and I want to be thorough as you who read my posts already well know. Alright, off to get another cookie.
Well, at the risk of all of my cool (which is very little) I have made a purchase that will forever cause my rock ‘n’ roll stature to walk with a limp. I’ve purchased a mini-van. NOTE TO ALL MEN: DON’T TAKE YOUR WIFE AND MOTHER OF 2 CHILDREN TO LOOK AT MINI-VANS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BUY ONE!!!
Monday morning at 9:30 I was standing in front of the sink in our kitchen, and in response to my wife asking if we could go look at mini-vans said “No, I don’t want a mini-van. I will never own one.” Then to appease her I told her I would take her to look at them if she really wanted to go. At 6:00 that evening there I was pulling up the driveway in our new (but used) family bus.
Here’s the problem. Once you go look at them you kinda get sucked in. I mean those things are amazing. (I’m trying to make myself feel better) Seriously, they almost drive themselves these days. When we saw all of the doors open and close by themselves we were all hooked. I mean apart from the obvious convenience of it all that’s just freakin’ cool. (yes, I know they’ve been doing this for quite some time but I’ve been avoiding that reality) I made an offer without ever talking to my wife about it. The sales guy met me half way and I figured that was good enough. Game-set-match and Hunter had taken a right of passage fully into responsible husband-father-plaid shirt and Dockers-penny loafers-safe haircut-Clark W. GriswoldHOOD!
OK, here’s the reality. I used to have too much pride to drive a mini-van. However, 2 children will get you fed up with your cool little mid-sized SUV. You realize just how much something like a mini-van will help your wife. No more baby on one hip-pushing the cart through the Target parking lot with the other hand-hey, stay close to momma!!!! to the other one-while you search for your keys in order to unlock the 3 doors that you have to manually open then lift EVERYBODY including the groceries into the back of your inconvenient car that your husband spent way too much money on. No, you push buttons and kids jump in or are LOWERED not LIFTED into their carseats, after which you put the groceries into the spacious storage area in the back before pushing a button that will lower the hatch that you can’t reach back to a closed position.
Hey guys, make it easier on your wives and buy them mini-vans. Put your
pride down. By the way, I bet mine’ll be cooler than your’s.
“Live For You” was a very defining moment for Connersvine. Chris and I had been writing and playing together for a while and we were having fun. God was being glorified, ministry was happening to us and through us, and we were growing both individually and as friends. One day we were talking on the phone and I asked Chris if we could get together and write soon. It had been several days since we’d written together and I had some ideas I wanted us to explore. I told him that I felt we should write something intimate and worshipful that was full of passion and in the mid-tempo range.
The next night we met at our church, got out our laptops, and started the dialogue. However, there was very little dialogue this night. I asked him if he had any ideas. He said he did. I asked him to play them. He got out his guitar, and in typical Chris and Hunter fashion apologized and disclaimed what he was about to play completely. (just in case it was heinous) Then he opened his mouth and this came out:
I wanna live for You
I wanna die to me
I want to be emptied
I want to be freed
from all that holds me captive
all that brings me down
all that’s tried to lose me
now that I’ve been found
I wanna live for You.
After I dried my eyes and picked my jaw up off the floor I went into a rave session for about 10 minutes. There are very few moments where I’ve sensed the annointing of God so strongly on something. I made Chris play it over and over again just so I could hear it. He complied then said he had no more of the song written. So, we embarked on finishing this already incredible song in my opinion.
To be honest “Live For You” could have had “Ol’ MacDonald” as verses and “The HokeyPokey” for a bridge and would have still been a great song. Chris brought something to the table that night that was perfect apart from our culture and industry’s need for cookie cutter structure in a song. With this in mind I thought it would be fitting to write verses that were honest and simple. I remember wanting the verses to point to the chorus and really make it pop. The first verse is a vulnerable acknowledgement of God’s complete person and ability to cleanse us:
All that is within me
cries out to You my Lord,
my God, and King
For You alone can cleanse me
and set me free
The second verse is a picture I love. A picture of dependence and leaning set in the here and now. It is not an ideal to be attained. Rather, it is today’s need and longing for both the sustenance and intimacy of God:
Here in this hour
leaning on Your mercy
Your throne of grace
You are all I am after
The beauty of Your face
The bridge is my second favorite part of the song. As I’ve said before I believe a good bridge should sum up the overall message of the song AND iterate any final thoughts, emotions etc. This bridge is almost like a broken explosion of passion for God and a realization of who He is and who we are to Him. I love the melody also. It came from a little guitar part Chris had been working on:
All I am broken on the ground
In Your hands knowing You surround me Lord
Father now I know that I am Your’s
Every song is different. About 3 hours after Chris played the chorus for me the song was finished. There have been only a couple of minor modifications to it since that night. This song was and is the cry of Connersvine’s heart. We’ve played “Live For You” pretty much every time we’ve played or led worship since. The response to it has been overwhelming. Thankfully we had very little to do with it. God poured it out almost all at once and we just tried to be trustworthy with His idea. We carry this song with a deep fear of the Lord. This is a powerful message and we, by His grace, we will walk it out as we sing it.
We are home and everyone is doing well. Moma and baby are healthy and happy. Mama and Daddy are tired though! Just wanted to thank you all for your prayers. Even though we may not know each other well it means so much to know of your thoughts and prayers. We have felt them in a strong way over the past few days. Thank you also for rejoicing with us in this time. Children truly are a reward from God.Now, on to the next Connersvine song!
I love country music. Chris does not love country music. If you get to know us you will find out that we both agree on the virgin birth, the redemption of God through Jesus, and the hope of eternal life. That’s about it. (oh yeah,……and Waffle House) We are extreme men that God saw fit to yoke together for a particular expression of ministry and music in our generation. It is our extremes that make Connersvine happen. As long as we are making albums there will be hints of rock, folk, country, soul, pop, and all kinds of indie stuff. That is who we are musically. Connersvine is a melting pot of influences, and I’d have it no other way.
“Lay Down” is one of our favorite songs as a band. It’s country feel gives it a unique personality that is rare in corporate worship music. It is one of the first songs we wrote once we decided to become Connersvine, and for that reason it will always have a particular sentimental value spiritually and historically. It was late morning sometime in the spring of 2003. I was in our basement having some alone time with just the Lord and my guitar. Sometimes in these moments I will start just playing a chord pattern and singing “randomness” over it. I don’t talk about this a lot because it could be misconstrued as insanity, but sometimes I just worship by opening my mouth and singing out my raw emotions and sentiments to God. A large portion of the time this sounds like gibberish or at best someone who has forgotten the words to a melody they never really knew in the first place. However, to God I believe it is a sweet sound. To my surprise on this particular morning I began to sing something that had both clear form and meaning:
All of my life I’m
happy to lay down
in light of Your glory
the light of Your glory
The lyric was exactly what I felt in my heart. I mean in light of the glory of God I am compelled to give Him everything. Thoughts and images began to flood my mind and soul about who, in my limited knowledge, God is and who He must be. I mean we aren’t talking about the Easter Bunny here. This isn’t a fat old figment of our imaginations dressed in a redsuit delivering gifts down people’s chimneys once a year. He either is or isn’t the King of the universe!! In that moment I was positive of the former and overcome with joy, awe, and willingness to do whatever He asked. This spontaneous chorus was a response to his lovely and powerful existence.
Originally “Lay Down” was just a series of choruses similar to the above mentioned. Truth be told I still wish they could be included in the recording. We play them live sometimes. Here they are:
All of my will I’m
happy to lay down
in light of Your wisdom
the light of your wisdom
All of my dreams I’m
happy to lay down
in light of your destiny
the light of your destiny
All of my heart I’m
happy to lay down
in light of Your love for me
the light of Your love for me
This song was Chris’ favorite idea of mine at one point, country feel and all! He would even lead it when he was leading on his own somewhere. Somewhere along the way we started trying to think of ways to make it a more album friendly song. We collaborated and decided it should have a more traditional structure. It needed verses, a consistent chorus, and a bridge. This wasn’t change for the sake of change however. We felt this was a real improvement that would help the song be embraced more over time.
Late that summer I reported to training camp at Rose Hulman in Terre Haute, IN with nothing to entertain myself with but a guitar. I was dead set to work on writing songs in my time off the field. At the top of my priority list was the refurbishing of “Lay Down”. Almost everyday Chris and I would talk on the phone and play our new ideas for one another. As per usual some of the ideas were good, some great, and some still make for a good laugh when they’re remembered.It was late afternoon sometime in the middle of our stay in Terre Haute as I remember and we had a night practice under the lights that evening. I had about 45 minutes before I was gonna go grab a quick bite to eat and head over to the locker room. I began to read through the Psalms while strumming my guitar through the “Lay Down” chord progression. Long story short the first verse was finished before I left for practice. It came quick but was still thoroughly thought through. I love the combination of Davidic psalm language in the first stanza withthe more “regular guy” folksy sentiment of the second:
(1) Listen to my humble cry
Listen to my earnest plea
Hear my voice as I am calling out
I’m on my knees again
(2) I don’t wanna go away
from this holy, holy place
I guess I am sayin’
Lord, I lay it all down again
For quite some time Chris and I would play this song with just one verse and a bunch of choruses. Soon Chris had the idea that we should write a bridge for it. The bridge’s origin came about just like it sounds. We were playing through this song looking for what felt right coming out of the chorus. I sang a line and Chris, the brilliant melodist, sang a linear response. It wasn’t an answer. No, it was a finish to the thought I had started. We decided that this was a really cool thing and finished the lyrics together. To me they are a simple circumstantial summation of the songs entire message: at all times God is worthy of our lives being laid down for Him.
In the morning when I rise to You
Lord, I lay it downIn the evening under skies from You
Lord, I lay it downEveryday and all my life for You
Lord, I lay it down
I know we are out of order here but the song was 3 years old when the second verse was written. However, it might be my favorite part of the song. Many times when we are writing I will have an idea that I feel like is really inspired, really different, really a risk, etc. Typically Chris or whoever is in the room will look at me like I’m crazy, then act like they didn’t hear me, then hope it all just goes away. A lot of them should just go away. Thankfully, this one didn’t.The first stanza of this verse might seem kinda risky:
When I wake up in the night
and I feel You in my room
Something in Your voice is drawing me
to follow after You
I love being able to say exactly what I feel in a song. This line is not about a stalker or burglar or anything like that. It is about times when I can feel the presence of God in the night. Sometimes I sense Him calling me out of bed to meet with Him. Now, I’d love to say that I answer the call every time, but I can’t. Sleep is a powerful force as well and not nearly as gentle. When I do answer the call, however, He is always faithful to be there for intimate fellowship. (I feel like this is a journal entry more than a blog post.) At any rate, I love being able to put something in a song that is honest and real even if a little weird sounding also. The second stanza completes the thought and points to the chorus:
to the place where I belong
far away from incomplete
where I give it all to You
because You gave all for me
“Lay Down” will always be a special song for us to play. It is our prayer that it is a challenging but hopeful way for you to express your will to lay your life down for a master worth so much more than anything in existence. Thanks for reading this. I know it was long, but it means a lot that you would take the time to understand the heart behind this work.”Live For You” is next. All I can say is that Chris is an anointed man. I’ll fill you in next time!
“Glory Be” was a song we felt strongly about from the beginning. One day Chris came to me and said he had an idea for a mid-tempo worship song. One of the things you always look for in a song meant for corporate worship is singability. Can you’re average person hear it a few times and be able to keep up? Does it stay in your head, etc? We were in our church’s old sanctuary when Chris played and sang the foundations of this songs chorus for me. I liked it immediately, and in the end the final version of the chorus ended up being just about exactly what he sang for me that day. It had a very wide open, melodic, and passionate way that made it a joy to sing over and over throughout the process of writing it.
There are definite roles when a Connersvine song is written. Chris is forever committed to the search for great melodies and I am a lyric man. This makes for a great song writing dynamic. We both write lyrics and melodies, but we both know our specialties as well. Usually about 10 to 20 percent of a song will flow quickly out of “fireworks” inspiration.
Then, the next 50 to 60 percent will flow out of the excitement about the fireworks you’ve just experienced. That gives impetus for the bulk of the song. However, the last 20 to 30 percent requires the “grind”. Most great songs that never happen never happen because artists do not have the discipline to finish a song. They allude to cliche lyrics and melodies that taint the entire work. After patching a bunch of junk on to the last verse and bridge they shrug and declare “good enough” then move on.
We’d like to believe we’ve never done this to a song. We treat each one as a gift that should be opened up all the way regardless of how much time it takes. Because of the simplicity and passion of the chorus we wanted the verses to be packed with great visuals of God and His nature, power, love, and sacrifice. My favorite sequence of the first verse is the combination of the second and third stanzas:
Glory to the one whose feet could walk beyond the shore
Glory to the voice that calls the storms to rumble in the sky
I picture these two at the same time. Jesus walking on the water while a storm brews in the dangerous sky above Him. It works for me anyway.
As we headed into the second verse the idea of God having a memory came up. I don’t know if He calls it that, but I think being all knowing qualifies that there is an amazing memory within God. The most important part of His memory is that he has never forgotten us. We have forgotten Him but he is incapable of forgetting us. Never were we remembered more than during His sacrifice on the cross.
Glory to the heart that died alone
Glory to the memory that would not let us go
And finally, one night in our home office came the bridge. It was one of those rare times when I write something that I really feel is average and Chris disagrees. Typically we are on the same page with whether something is good or not. The truth is there wasn’t much of a grind to this one. It came almost spontaneously. Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel strongly about it? Maybe in my pride I thought great lyrics should take more work? However, it is God who inspires, not us. Chris loved it and it has become one of the highlights of the album for me.
My favorite lines:
Kingdoms rise and kingdoms crumble
Men are high and men are humbled
After all has fallen let our only anthem be. . . . . . .Glory Be
“Glory Be” met a lot of resistance with one of our producers. It was actually added to the album toward the end of the whole process. We are glad it was. And, we’re glad it’s the 1st track on the album. For us it clears up any questions about who the glory belongs to right from the start.
Hope y’all enjoy this. Let me know your thoughts. Need more? Less? If everyone says “boo” to the idea of an album commentary through a series of posts then I’ll quit it. Sure is fun for me though.
Have you ever experienced “Chunks In The Night”? No, this isn’t a Broadway musical. This is when you hear your 3 year old hurling in his bed at 4 a.m. Last night the Smith household experienced this phenomenon in full effect. 
Connersvine
